Crossout News
Hello there, survivors! “Voice of the Wasteland” is here once again — the only radio in the Valley that your old receivers can tune into! And this is “Morning News”— the show with the latest gossip and rumours found by Brother Porcupine.
In today's edition — news from survivors! Them and only them. Valla, did you hear that? You can relax... Valla, get your feet off my desk! You're a bit too relaxed right now.
Let's go, survivors. Our correspondent is in touch. Correspondent, hello!
***
Come in, “Voice of the Wasteland”! The head of the Dawn's Children's seismological station told us about the movements in the Earth's crust. The jolts were minor and insignificant but were accompanied by strong electromagnetic disturbances, which in some cases could affect the operation of radio equipment and electronics. Whoah, couldn't you say all that but without the big words?
According to the scientist, this phenomenon is natural and poses no danger, but how do we know with our radio junk? We fought the consequences of the smoke bomb prank, and our equipment was turned off.
***
And now our mobile radio station is on the air! Let's grip the mic with our teeth and get closer to that lonely combat vehicle standing behind the hill (what could go wrong?).
*Unintelligible grunting reaches the microphone*
- Come on, you vacuum cleaner, start!
Hello, warrior! We're the radio “Voice of the Wasteland”.
- Uh? Who are you? I wasn't expecting you! Oh, wait... that radio. You're the only thing I listen to. The receiver caught one wave and I didn't know how to fix it! I don't like you or your radio!
Ahem. What do you do in the Wasteland, dear survivor? Are you tracking someone?
- I'm not tracking... Aah! Another short-circuit! Stupid wrench, why did you fall on the fuse board! My light bulbs! My decor!!! It's all your fault with your stupid questions. Come here, I'm gonna...
I think it's time to run! Play the commercials, you hear me, the commercials!
*My wheels used to be boring and depressing. Every raider, instead of shooting and robbing me, laughed out loud. But now I've put in the new heart hub caps. They're pink and cute! Everything changed around me. Now I'm being attacked by women and told how sweet I am… “Valentine” caps from Valentine. Only in the Wasteland*
Survivors, we're back on the air. It's all fine. We're already on the radio car. Moved away from this... gentleman. He's running around his smoking car, waving his hands and screaming something. Hopefully, he'll be fine.
Apparently, it becomes dangerous in the Wasteland! This concludes our roadshow. Porcupine, come in.
***
Come in, correspondent (or whatever your name is?).
Today it’s all the news that we managed to find out. Survivors! We are recruiting our own correspondents. Write in the group’s private messages with the heading “Morning News”. Regular correspondents will receive small gifts from us.